Today marks three weeks since Matt went to be in the presence of Jesus. These weeks have been filled with fear, trembling, peace, generous gifts, meals provided, family visiting, counseling, hugs, friends coming when I call, God whispering to me, deep pain in my heart, tears, many questions unanswered, and hope beyond comprehension felt at Matt's celebration of life service.
When our regular schedule seems to be off for a few days (or weeks or months) my youngest girls like to start building things. This last week was a big fort in their room. A big, cozy, quiet, secluded place where they can feel safe and just rest. They slept in it for several nights. Each day as I walked in that room and sighed at the "mess" I began to sense God wanted me to learn from this mess. ( A sight I've too often, too quickly, told them to "clean up so we can walk in here")!
The days leading up to Matt's celebration of life service were hectic and full of people in and out. I didn't take a lot of time to be alone with God. The words on that sign sent a message to my heart. I need a fort. God gives me a fort in His Word everyday. He is so intentional with me. His Word sits at my night stand waiting. I must go in, just be and rest. "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
Proverbs 14:26 "He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge." Let's pray that we will make Him our fortress! Not once will we be asked to clean it up, put it away, or have to secure it with scotch tape.
A sweet and wise friend gave me a new mug last week. At first my reaction was like, "oh man, another reminder of what I need to do to make it through this". But God whispered, "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deut 33:27) He is my strength; I don't have to be Strength. I am weak and that is ok as long as I look to Him for strength. Just as Ruth did, I want to "come to take refuge" under His wings. (Ruth 2:12)
David advises in I Chronicles 16:11, " Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." Lately, that is all I feel like doing. I need to figure out the budget and the fog in my brain leads me to need more of His strength. I need answers to healthcare questions which then reminds me to seek Him always. Thanks, Joanna, for the tangible reminder that my strength is nothing and His is everything!
What are you seeing today that needs to be your teacher?
"The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on to the heights." Habbakkuk 3:19
"The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31