Blogging as a dying man to dying men...


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#4 Chemo Treatment & "Are You Sure?"

[Caption: Local attractive woman poses with Frankenstein impersonator flashing unknown gang symbols. Lady was quoted: "I felt sorry for him and wanted him to be happy in his delusional state ... and he's kinda cute."] Today, we completed our fourth chemo treatment. Can't thank you enough for your prayers. The men of our church again came to our house to provide the best encouragement of prayer and concern and love for us and our family. Going into the 4th treatment, I had some more nervousness, as I have experienced one side effect from the treatment that can be unsettling, even though it is a fairly common thing we all experience, I'm not used to the increased frequency of the occurrenc

Hope and a future...

God likes to take away my idols. I am constantly struggling with them, and the more I deal with my condition, the more deep-rooted my idolatry is exposed. Therefore, I don't claim to have mastered anything of which I write, but as I struggle and write, I hope they help us all to worship our beautiful Lord more faithfully. Therefore, these blogs are often the result of my struggles at the time. While God continues to drown me in His grace, the posts also are a reflection of the aching in my heart. Consequently, I must confess there was a heart-struggle as I wrote yesterday's post: "What about Jeremiah 29:11?!?!?!" Many of us Americans know this verse: "For I know the plans I have for yo

A will of greater purpose than our comforts...

One of the things we have done with the kids over the years is read through the Chronicles of Narnia. Recently, we finished a section of the book that has one of my favorite quote in the series... well of most any literature outside of the Bible really. When the young children are meeting with the Beaver family and hearing about Aslan for the first time, they're concerned to find out he is a lion. To which, they ask: "Is he safe?" Mr. Beaver replies, "Safe? ... Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." He isn't safe, but He is good. If you know the book series, you know C.S. Lewis created Aslan as a representation of Jesus, our King.

I am not Superman...

Even under the threat of mortality, I can make too much of myself. If you've been reading the blog from the beginning, you know one of my main goals was not to charge God with any wrongdoing. Over the last couple months, it seems I've added to that goal ... and thanks to a few brothers today, I've been reminded that some goals need to be tempered by God's grace. I got a call from a long-time friend tonight. This is a friend I knew at the AF Academy, and we had the blessing of getting married around the same time, starting a family, spending too much time at Wal-Mart (inside joke), etc. He knows me well. Tonight, I shared with him that I wanted to be faithful as a witness to Christ's goodn

#3 Oil change complete and all things for good...

Yesterday, we completed our 3rd oil change / Chemo infusion. Very thankful all went well with the infusion. Thank you for your prayers. We also got the results of our first CT scan. We got some great results from the cancer responding to the chemo after just 2 treatments. The doc and his assistant were very impressed with how effective the first two rounds have gone. They both said they're not used to seeing that kind of response. I also know my beloved had some vindication on the healthy diet she has had me on including my 9 supplement pills I take daily! It's only vindication because I complain about it ... all the time ... and she still serves me... yes, that's me admitting I'm not

Revisiting Psalm 27:13...

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." I have seen the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. When one of our elders first mentioned he was going to ask some men to come pray for me before our first chemo treatment, I thought it would be a one-time thing. It's now the night before the 3rd treatment, and they still come. These men impress me. They come and pray for me. They pray I get healed. They pray for my children. They pray for my wife. They pray that God would be glorified. They pray that I have the strength of Job. They pray boldly. They pray tearfully. Tonight as we prayed, I wondered what makes men, most of which I

As a dream comes when there are many cares...

I have a recurring dream since I've been sick. I don't share it to evoke pity. I share it to make a point. It is a painful dream, but real nonetheless. In my dream, I'm on my deathbed in my last moments, and I'm interacting with one of my young children. I'm very anxious in the dream... to the point of being flustered. I can't make up my mind if I want to share more truth from God's Word with my kids, or if I just want to hold them in silence. I tend to be awoken from the dream in the morning right before it's time to be up for the day. Needless to say, it's a rough way to start the day. Earlier this week, I was truly thankful for a loving wife whom I could lean on as she reminded me



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