Blogging as a dying man to dying men...

I know... two in one day, but I needed to write this one down as it impacted me last week. Cancer chemo treatment waiting rooms aren't happy places. When you're in a waiting room, there are several unhappy truths of which you're acutely aware. 1. The treatment is a biohard-style poison that will be toxic to your body in the hopes that it will also kill the bad cells. In military terms, it's a nuke dropped on a populated city to destroy the enemy emplacements scattered thro

My perspective on prayer has changed a lot. I never was a huge practitioner of it, nor would I have been someone to talk about it due to a lack of understanding and experience. But God is a great Teacher, and one of the main ways He has changed that perspective is through you. People may have said to me before they were praying for me, but I didn't really base much on it. However, due to circumstances, Sara and I would be honest to tell you that when people, you awesome pe

Today was a tough day. I started the day in 2 Corinthians 12 where Paul was pleading with the Lord to take away his "thorn in the flesh." I honestly say I understand that passage a little better than I ever did before... just wish I also got the revelations with it... :) God said no to Paul. Honestly, I don't want Him to say no to me. Then, it seemed like it was a day of reminders, and not many of them were kind ones. I found myself in a rut of repetitions. At work, I se

Yesterday, I got my 2nd oil change/chemo treatment. It went well. No major issues. So far, my fatigue has been SIGNIFICANTLY less than what I experienced with round 1. That's a huge praise. Today, I was able to be up and about at times of the day interacting with the family and my beloved Mommy as she has has been with us during the last week to help around the house and care for the kids while Sara was taking Special Girl back to college. On my previous treatment, I pr

[Me, modeling my new look with my beautiful stylist...] Hair has always been a funny thing for me. Funny in the sense that it's always been too important to me. Back in High School when the football team wanted to shave their heads to look tough in pics, I wouldn't. When I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, our squadron wanted to all get flat-tops for a group bonding thing: (we were squadron 15, and they wanted to be "Flat Top 15"). I was lame and wouldn't do it. It's

So, I'm now part of the collective. On Thursday, I had my port installed. Affectionately, my Borg implant. For those of you who aren't familiar, think USB for the circulatory system... a quick access port for medicine and other uses. At this point, I have to give a nod to a friend of mine who isn't afraid to crack timely jokes regarding the port. He said to me: "hey make sure that thing doesn't get wifi... you don't want to get hacked." Funny CJ. It was tougher in some

Today was a harder day than some previous ones. Later in the day, I started getting more pain. Like I've said in previous posts, I'm a wuss about pain. I easily get discouraged. As a result, when I got home from work, I was pretty discouraged and started thinking more about death than life. It's a painful mental cycle where I can get absorbed in jealousy, anger and irritability. However, God's grace came in a neat way today... true to His pattern of matching grace with t

Hello, as a result from talking to people in person, I've realized that this blog hasn't had a good summary of the whole treatment plan and the direction we're going with treatment. There are only bits and pieces here and there, and it's not very clear. I hope to fix that with a quick update here. Apologies if you've been looking for that detail, and it hasn't been available. My prognosis is a neuro-endocrine tumor in the colon that has spread to the liver, Stage 4. Origin

To say my brother and I don't always agree is one of those epic understatements in life. If there is a spectrum on politics, worldview, etc, we always seem to find ourselves on the extreme opposite ends. It's generated some... conflict in the past. :) I had a coworker once say it's times of stress and ultimate challenges that reveal who a person is. This sickness has happened to me, and my brother, once again, as he has done so many times in the past, showed his best to he

Looking back at yesterday's blog entry, I feel it was a little off balance. I hoped to tie together the truth with the connection of God's ultimate promise, but there is certainly more to that promise and its effects on our current lives I feel I should add. Late last night, I kept thinking of the old chorus: "Victory in Jesus". I guess if I were to try to round out yesterday's post I should include that the promise provided in Christ brings collateral impact to every part