I recently got to clean out our school shelves from last year. We have to face the reality that another school year is upon us. One of the items I decided I was tired of going around in school room was a mini fridge. So I cleaned it out and I sold it for $20 to a lady in my neighborhood. For some reason I felt a tinge of guilt for selling it instead of just giving it away. But God knew I'd need that cash in my wallet.
The kids and I also cleaned out Matt's closet recently. They were only temporary trappings but we had a special time reminiscing about the different clothing items. We found a couple love notes he was carrying in his pockets from me. We laughed at how many coats he had--including that bright orange hunting coat that he loved but only wore twice. He had a thing for cool coats. I pray some needy tall man enjoys that brand new Carhart coat we donated to the Community Help Center. That's the way he would've wanted it. Setting those boxes of his things on the ground in the heap of people's things (painful as it was) reminded me that this is not my home--and that I can rejoice that Matt is home. He is in the presence of Jesus now! He won't have to to clean anything out up there. Although if God had a garage, Matt would be his guy for that!
Back to that $20. I had to have a medical procedure done last week. A thyroid biopsy. Wish that $20 would've covered that :). On my way home from the appointment I stopped at the grocery store. When I came out with a few quick items I saw a man standing near the store front. His clothes and hair looked dirty. We made eye contact and he said, "May I ask you a question?" So, I strolled over to him. He was looking for food donations or a little cash so he could buy food for his wife, son and himself. I felt God telling me to park my cart there for a minute. So I asked him "what's going on?" "what's your story?". He told me how he lost his job, is living with his mom and how his expensive tools were repossessed with his car after he moved from California. I asked him about his son and wife. I asked him what he needed most right now. Of course he said "a job". But as soon as I asked him that I heard in my head, "Give him all your cash". My mind started to wonder what he would do with the $30 I had in my wallet. Was I being a good steward? But then God said, "I'm taking care of you". So I got the cash out. Immediately the man wanted to refuse that much cash. And I handed it to him and said boldly, "if anything , let this cash gift remind you that YOU are LOVED EXTRAVAGANTLY by GOD"! He took the money with a tear in his eye. God reminded me of His extravagant love for the kids and I as I continued to remind this man that he was created for a purpose. I reminded him: do not give up-you will get a job; take care of your wife and son-they are worth it; and don't stop living even when life is painful. He thanked me and we continued to talk about Jesus and His good news.
His extravagant love is lifting the blur and fog from my heart. He is loving me beyond what I could've imagined. He is bringing new friends into my life and showing me how awesome the ones I have still are!
A couple days later, I was paying bills sitting at my computer. A new email popped up from the girls' ballet instructor. It said, "Sara, I am so excited to have your girls in ballet this year! I wanted to let you know that someone has paid your tuition for all three girls for the entire year!" EXTRAVAGANT LOVE! OVERWHELMS ME EACH DAY! And God whispered, "See, I am taking care of you".